My heart is in Boston.

On Monday evening Itzik and I went out for dinner with friends to a lovely Italian restaurant to celebrate  Israel’s Independence Day. Libbie and her husband Tzahi joined us and we all made merry. That is, until Libbie and I received news alerts on our phone about the Boston Bombing. Libbie and I met (and fell in love) in Boston, and we both immediately began scouring the interwebs for information about what happened, and for word from our friends and families there. I had been following updates all day from friends of mine who were in Boston to run the marathon, and when I heard about two bombs detonating near the finish line I felt my heart drop into my stomach. The rest of my evening was spent making calls and checking Facebook in an effort to account for anyone who may have been downtown that day (thankfully, most of my friends in Boston usually avoid the shitshow that is downtown Boston on Marathon Monday) and I was grateful to learn quickly that my loved ones were safe.

It is hard to put into words the feelings I experienced after learning about this. Confused. Sad. Scared. Homesick. Sick. Worried. When I lived in Boston and followed Israeli news (esp after Libbie moved to Tel Aviv) it was always upsetting to learn about terrorism happening here. But it was never altogether surprising. It is, after all, the Middle East. These things have a context here. That context never mitigates the horror and sadness of terrorism, but there’s a frame of reference and usually there’s never any doubt about the motive. 

When it comes to Monday’s events in Boston, however, there is no context. And for me to be living here, in Israel- where a certain level of violence is expected on occasion- and to watch bombs exploding in Boston? It was surreal. Videos of the explosions were online before we even paid the bill, and I watched in horror on my phone as buildings I used to walk by daily were torn apart. The Boston setting was familiar, and the scene of terror was familiar- but I could not wrap my head around the two together….and it made me homesick in a way I haven’t experienced until now. Knowing how 'commonplace' things like this are for my Israeli friends deepens my respect for the Israeli experience. It also makes me hope that those in Boston effected by this tragedy can rebound from their pain, and stand strong against whomever is to blame.

When Israel and Hamas went to war a few months ago, I had an experience of war and terrorism that was new for me. And the biggest lesson I learned from Israelis was this: if the fear prevents you from living your life, the terrorists have won. You must press on, you must garner strength from the knowledge that life will always conquer death, good will prevail over evil.

So, to my friends and loved ones in Boston- my heart is with you. I am overjoyed and utterly relieved that you are all ok, and I wish so much that I could be there with you right now. My heart breaks for our city, and for those who were affected by this tragedy. I pray that whomever is to blame will not be allowed a victory of fear. May justice be swift, and recovery short.

UPDATE: my friend Jen lives in Boston and wrote an account of her experience here. Jen and I worked together at the David Project, and she moved to Israel a year before me. She's an American-Israeli who has studied counter-terrorism, and the article is excellent. Check it out.

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A quick (but nonetheless important) aside:

Four years ago, I drove a new little family home from Mass General Hospital, and was introduced to a little girl who would change my world forever- Liron Etta. I watched my good friends Sasha and Ellen become exemplary parents overnight, and I hope that one day my family will be half as happy as theirs. I had the privelage of becoming a part of their family, and the memories we made together are precious to me.

You guys are my family, and today I wish more than ever that I could be with you to celebrate. I miss you every day, and I can’t wait to be back this summer to make more memories together. Keep a place for me at the table, and in your hearts.

Happy birthday, Liron!! I love you so much.

More holidays? More holidays!

I am constantly asking myself (and my boyfriend) "what holiday(s) is Israel observing this week?"

Cause, yeah, there are almost weekly holidays here.

Well, yesterday at sundown began Yom HaZikaron (Memorial Day).
When that ends (at sundown today...sensing a pattern?) Yom Hatzma'ut (Independence Day) begins.

I love this time of year, because the holidays Israel observes are simultaneously somber and celebratory 

(Passover, Holocaust Remembrance Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day).

What I love about these two days in particular is how meaningful and present these days are for the people of Israel as a collective, and the significance found in observing them side by side.

Yesterday, at 8pm, a siren rang out across the country (just like on Yom HaShoah), and again, the entire nation paused and remembered those 23,085 lives lost in service to the Jewish State. Another siren was heard this morning at 11am to mark the 'end' of the holiday.
Here's a video from this morning in Jerusalem. 

In such a tiny and new nation (only 65 years old today!)- not to mention one with such a bloody history- every Israeli knows someone who died in war. Memorial Day here is a somber day- television is filled with documentaries and special programming about individuals who died in battle, families telling of their sons and daughters whose lives were given so that a nation might live. 

Itzik asked me this morning "does America have a day like this?"

Sadly, no. For me, Memorial Day back home was only sad because I usually didn't have the day off of work. Only government employees and really lucky people got the day. Maybe there are some sales at the mall. But it's really more of an afterthought- a day imbued with half-significance. Also, the US is so big. You could go your whole life and not know one person who served in the military. People have lost touch with the fact that freedom comes at a price, a heavy price. And those who have paid it are all too easily forgotten.

But here in Israel, forgetting is not easily done. Nor should it be.

And then, Independence Day. This is truly a festive day.
Flags galore, roof parties, beaching, picnics (and alcohol)...

It is a lot like the 4th of July back home, but what I really love about Israel's Independence Day celebration is the fact that it comes IMMEDIATELY after Memorial Day.

Because in order to truly appreciate the freedom we have, we have to remember (and thank) those who fought for us to be free.

So, to Israel (my home away from home)
I wish you a very Happy 65th Birthday!
May you go from strength to strength. 
I'm proud to live here, and grateful you exist.

Do I hate it here?

Recently I did something very cool. It was something which I initially assumed would give me a great "I did that once when..." story for my grandbabies one day, or at the least provide a great opportunity to Instagram the shi*t out of something. Instead what I got was one of those days where you question your life-choices and teeter on the edge- quietly pretending to follow along to people talking in a foreign language while silently chanting in the back of your mind "what the hell am I doing here?" Oh, and my phone died quickly so thanks, Samsung, for ruining my ability to connect to social media when I needed it most.

Let's lay the foundation. I agreed to spend a morning at a photo shoot for a marketing campaign being launched by an Israeli bank. A one-time gig through a friend of a friend that would pay for transportation and food, and pay me a few hundred shekel. Not bad, I thought. Spend a morning in Tel Aviv meeting some new people. Practice Hebrew. Do something out of the ordinary. Cool. I even got to meet an Israeli celebrity. Jealous?

Don't be.

A) Celebrities aren't nearly as exciting when you've no idea why they are famous.

Apparently this guy is the host of the Israeli "Big Brother" iteration. That's actually a really big deal to a lot of Israelis. I, however, had no clue why this girl asked me to take their pic together until I showed Itzik.

B) I had to wake up at 4:30am to be there on time (and went to bed at 2am, but that's my fault really). Point is, the luster of cameras and 'celebrities' wears off when it's only 10am and you've been up for SIX hours.

C) They took us outside of Tel Aviv. At 1pm I was eating at a craft services table behind a mall in a town called Yochneam (what?) and (little did I know) I still had SIX hours before I would get paid and sent home.

D) I only got 200 shekel (aka $50) for 13 hours of time basically spent sitting alone.

Basically, it was kind of a shitty day. The silver lining is that I made a potential new friend. Win. But, I hate feeling like I've wasted time. I'm having a hard time these days spending long stretches of time all in Hebrew. I was exhausted. And meeting new Israelis always follows the same pattern (with slight and seldom variation):

"Where are you from?"
"Do you have a lighter?"
"How long have you been here?"
"Why did you come here?"
"What are you doing now?"
"What do your parents think?"
"Isn't your family back in the US? Don't you miss them?"
"Why Israel? It's so hard."

Imagine being asked ten times a day (after over a year of being asked almost EVERY day) if you miss your friends and family back home. It means thinking about how much you miss home that many times. Or, as I've learned to try to do, it means actively trying not to think about it, lest you burst out crying. By the end of this day, I had wanted to cry at least ten times. By the time I got home from work. Then, I was so tired that Itzik and I ended up having an argument (cause he was so tired too...in fact I'm sure his day was worse than mine). It was just that perfectly terrible alignment of all things that happens now and then. The kind of day that leaves me sitting at my computer when I should be sleeping, cause if I don't write it out, how else will I get rid of it?

So do I hate it here? I did on this day. But this happens from time to time. I fight with my boyfriend. Or miss a bus I needed. Or get stuck with a cab driver that over charges me while telling me I've waited too long to have babies. I see an ad for a movie I should be seeing with Steph and Kim over Thanksgiving.

But I came to Israel for a reason, and tomorrow I'll find a new one, I'm sure of it. I always do. I'll use a new word in Hebrew (today I learned a few), and I'll remember the new shower curtain Itzik bought (thanks, baby!), or I'll come across something awesome on the streets of Tel Aviv like this:

A tiny man? or a giant shekel? I'll give you three guesses.

or this:

An archaelogical dig I stumbled upon on my walk home from yoga earlier this week. That's so cool.

and slowly I'll remember some things that I love about being here. I'll remember what it feels like to be the person who followed her dream and started over somewhere completely new. The person I'm proud of. 

But in order to be that girl I need to sleep. So for now, layla tov.

Independence Days

(photo taken from the IDF's facebook wall)

I have failed as a blogger to commemorate in a timely manner the independence days of both Israel (May) and America (July). So I'm going to try and hit both birds with this one stone.

Welcome to my Independence Days blog post!

In May I celebrated Israel's independence day by decorating my apartment and the walkway outside with festive flags and balloons. My neighbor/new friend Jessica and I decided to go to the market and Jew-out our building. It turned out really nicely.

Jessica and I are both Americans who moved to Israel and were celebrating our first Israeli Independence Day this year, and it was really lovely to have someone to get so excited about it with. We're both here because we love Israel, we support the State of Israel, and it was strange and exciting to feel patriotic about a country that I've CHOSEN to live in. I hope you enjoy our decorations as much as I did.

The 4th of July (last week) was a completely different experience for me. As an American living abroad, I'm learning that Americans and America don't always have the best reputation. Even here in Israel. Of course, the bond between Israel and the US is an important one, politically. And there's for sure an American/Western influence on Israeli society. But Americans have, I think all over the world, a reputation for being fat, lazy, spoiled, and self-righteous. Its been a difficult lesson to learn firsthand. Especially when my boyfriend makes sarcastic comments about it. Anyway- the holiday...

it didn't feel like a holiday to me. Probably because here, it isn't one, and I'm so used to feeling like I have to apologizing for being American. Unlike Thanksgiving, I didn't feel like I needed to celebrate the 4th of July, cause there was no way that it could really be the same. But, some friends from school threw a bbq in a park that evening, so I grabbed a few beers and decided to give it my best shot. And it was actually really fun. 

Mostly it was awesome cause I got to use sparklers! 

My parents never let me use those when I was growing up. In your face, Mom and Dad! I didn't get hurt!

After I tired to playing with fire, Libbie (my FAVORITE American around) came out and we went with Noa for burgers and french fries (does it get much more American? No.) at Mike's Place- the "American" bar on the seafront. It was lovely. All in all, the day helped me remember what truly makes me feel good about being American- pyrotechnics and greasy, cheesy food. 

I'm looking forward to both during the month of August, when I visit America for a month and can soak up all the grease and fun the good 'ol U-S-of-A has to offer.

....when you're having fun.

Time really has flown by the last couple of months...I've been so busy living life that I've neglected writing about it for a little while.
I feel like an apology is in order, although it seems a little self-involved to assume that anyone has been really bothered by my recent blogging hiatus. However, I know there are a handful of you out there who have noticed (and not just the ten Norwegians who the stats tool in blogger tells me have been reading this month),
so- Mom, Dad, Ellen and Holly...you have my apologies.

That being said...what's happening in Tel Aviv? A lot. So much, in fact, that I'm not quite sure where to begin. I also haven't been using my camera quite as much lately (the zoom is broken) and I've felt bad assaulting you guys with prose void of any photographic/aesthetic component. I'll try to keep this post as succinct as possible.

April and May have been beautiful. It's already summer in my book (the weather lately has been about as hot as it ever really gets in PA or Boston) and it's only going to get worse. I'm actually a little anxious about summer in the Middle East- soon it will be almost impossible to be outside for very long during the day unless you're at the beach, nay... in the water.

The thing is, I'd rather suffer intense summer than this type of winter...

Can you blame me?

I spent a lot of time in at the end of April and beginning of May on schoolwork- I had two really big papers for school due, so a lot of my time was spent in seclusion writing (academic writing, less fun than blogging...for sure.) Being a student isn't my favorite thing, I'll be honest, I haven't been thrilled with my program, but I appreciate the opportunity to learn and meet new and interesting people...essentially, I am so happy to be in Israel that I am willing to put up with the frustrations of school.

When I'm not trying to keep up with my studies, I'm just trying to figure out what will happen when school is over, and to enjoy myself (I do live in paradise, after all). I've discovered recently Sunday mornings on the beach. The weather has been so beautiful that the beaches are now packed all weekend long. Its really quite amazing to see, but I'm also naturally averse to crowds. I've mentioned before that Sunday is the Israeli Monday, but I don't have classes on Sundays this semester, so I have the incredible opportunity to spend my Sunday mornings on almost empty Mediterranean beaches.

.
You'll hear no complaints from me.

I've also been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend (it still feels strange saying that, when does that go away?), Itzik. I am still trying to figure out how much I want to share about it here on the interwebs- its no secret or anything, but this week I had views from Brazil, Norway, Germany, Ireland, Russia, Costa Rica, and Hong Kong...so, you know. Its hard to know where to draw the line. I will tell you that I was beginning to think if I got any better at being single there wouldn't be any room for a real partner in my life. At least not at this point. But we don't get to choose where and when these things happen sometimes, do we? To move abraod I had to make a choice that I would live every day here like I was staying forever, so that I wouldn't miss out on what real life here is like. Cause that's the point right? Live your life the best way you can today, cause who knows what will happen tomorrow. And in doing that, I was given the gift of someone who makes it easy for me to be the version of myself I like the most- and who loves me even when I'm at my worst. 

And he makes me laugh. What more could a girl ask for?

One of the best parts is getting to see Israel from an Israeli's perspective. He and his friends are really cool people, I'm seeing new areas of the country (we camp on the beaches north of Tel Aviv sometimes, and I've gotten to visit his hometown a few times), and I'm getting a lot of exposure to Hebrew. Itzik's English is stellar, so we don't have trouble communicating, but I'm working hard on absorbing as much of the language as possible...slowly slowly. It will come.

Nothing is perfect however. It's strange getting into a relationship in a world that is not my own, not having my people around to share it with. I have friends here, even one or two who have known me longer than 9 months, but it's still hard sometimes. After our last camping weekend I was thinking about how much I wished I could just hang out (in English) with someone from home. Itzik's friends are great, but when I'm with a group of people who are communicating only in Hebrew for a whole weekend, eventually I just kind of tune out and retreat to that quiet place in my own thoughts- often those thoughts are of my friends and family back home. So after camping we came home and I was missing my friends and all of a sudden....Ilya was here.

I know, right? What? How? The long and short of it is that he came for a few days unexpectedly to visit an ill family member, and I got to hang out with him for a few hours on his way in and out of the country. Literally, one second I was missing my friends back home, and the next I was sitting at a bar with one. It was fantastic! A little surreal, but still so comforting to be with someone from my world, you know?

Yeah, this happened.
A little DP reunion was just what the doctor ordered! We had dinner with Libbie and got all caught up!

So, that's a little bit of an update, dear readers. Again, my apologies for the recent truancy. I'll make more of an effort to keep you guys updated more efficiently. Thanks for hanging in with me.

This weekend I am nursing a cold and looking forward to Shabbat dinner with Itzik's family. His cousins from the US are in town for a few weeks and tonight I get to hang out with their adorable kids...including a 3 month old little girl named Libby! I met her older brother, Gur (which means "puppy"), earlier this week. He's five, and we are pretty into each other. I mean, both of us have sisters named Libby- that's a bond that can't be broken. I can't wait to hold the baby, squeeze her chunky little thighs and eat her face (can you tell I miss nannying a little bit??). I'll try and get some photos to share, if I can put the baby down long enough to pick up a camera.

Rocket fire on civilians

Yesterday one of my professors came into class and seemed a bit scatter-brained. She is a young Israeli woman, probably in her 30's, with small children. She lives south of Tel Aviv, and drives 40 minutes to the University to teach. She explained to us that for the last several days she and her family had been living with the rocket attacks coming into Israel from Gaza. Schools in the south have been closed since the attacks began, and for the four days prior she and her family have had to retreat to their bomb shelter (which nearly every Israeli residence is equipped with) once or twice an hour when they heard the warning sirens, wait for the bomb to fall, and then go back to their daily life. What can this be like? Well, here is what it's like:

So while I've been living in a hazy strand of Purim parties in Tel Aviv, Israelis living in the south of the country have been dealing with the near-constant barrage of rocket attacks from terrorists within the Gaza Strip. 

Since Friday (today is Tuesday) 303 rockets have been fired from Gaza directed at Israeli civilians, and 165 have landed on Israeli soil. Yesterday alone, while I was in class and complaining about a cold, 42 rockets struck southern Israel, and 23 more were intercepted by Israel's Iron Dome defense system.

(for updated stats click here)

Thankfully, Tel Aviv is a different reality than the small towns just south of here. Hamas, Hezbollah, and other terrorist groups in the region have the military capability to strike TA with these rockets also, but everyone seems to agree that they aren't (and won't) because of political and strategic deterrents. Probably, this recent activity is a test of Israels defense systems, and things will quiet down soon.

 A quick survey of headlines on CNN.com, BBC.com, etc. shows me things like this "Israeli Airstrikes Hit Gaza a 4th Day". This makes it seem like Israel is the aggressor in this situation.
And that is simply NOT true.

Is Israel the bad guy for conducting air strikes against the terrorists raining rockets down on her civilians? Just take a minute to consider that what you read in the news could possibly be a skewed version of reality before you believe the picture they've painted for you.

Oh, and for those of you back home who are worried- don't be. I'm safe. If I get an email from the State Department saying to leave, I will. But I don't anticipate that. And I'm not traveling to the south anytime soon.