June 28, 2012

The beginning of the end...or end of the beginning???

Ugh! I have so much to tell you!
So, this week has been a short break for me from school, to be exact we had ten days between the end of our second semester and the beginning of the third and final semester. I can taste that MA, I'm so close. This change in seasons as begged the questions- what will I do after school? How will I make money to support myself? Where will I live?
Not small quandaries.

 Well, this may not be a surprise to some of you, but I've decided to stay in Israel for awhile longer. When I began planning for studying abroad I applied to a two-year program, and planned on being here for at least that long. When plans changed and I ended up in a one-year MA track (financially, this was better news anyway) I decided to just do the year and see where I came out on the other end. Well, where I've come out is as follows: 

1. My Hebrew is not anywhere near where I want it to be.

2. I have not traveled outside of Tel Aviv as much as I wanted to.

3. I'm in love with someone who lives in Israel.

4. I have friends here who are (or have become) like family to me, and I want more time with them.

5. There's no winter here!

There are, of course, a thousand reasons for wanting to stay here, and wanting to go home. I've realized that no matter where I live, my heart from here on out will be split between two very different and very distant worlds. This reality was sealed the first day I got here- I am in love with Israel. The food, the climate (even though I complain about the summer heat), the weird recycling cages, the people, the politics (this one is more of a love/hate situation), the parties, the graffiti, the tension. Life is intense here, and often difficult. There have been some really scary moments this year, but somehow the lows and the highs are amplified. Everything tastes a little sweeter.

In any case, I'm not so sure I have really been living in the 'real world' here- I've been a student, and not working. So I want to spend time being an adult here. It's going to get harder, I think, before it gets easier. But its time to try making my way, supporting myself, and continuing to build the life I've begun. I have started babysitting for a few families, trying to earn as much cash as possible before school ends and I can start working full-time. 

Last week threw me a curve ball, however- I discovered I have to use my return flight (I purchased a round trip ticket when I moved in September) in August. So....to all my friends and family back home:

I'm coming back August 12th!

I'm planning to spend a few weeks in Boston trying to babysit as much as possible for some quick cash, catch up with loved ones, and spend as much time as possible at my old yoga studio that I miss so much. I'll get to visit my family and friends in Erie, and then I'll be coming back to Israel. I can't wait to see everyone! To buy sunscreen in BULK! To not sweat just from walking to the bus! It's gonna be a good month.

Things are changing. Some things are ending. Others are only beginning. All of it is emotional, and tricky. But, what Israel has really taught me is that once I know what I need to truly make me happy, I have to fight to keep it safe.

And that's just what I intend to do.


Ellen said...

We cannot wait to see you!!!:)

Jolly Holly said...

Thank you for catching up on your blogging. I can only read it slowly while working, a few paragraphs at a time- and usually don't end up commenting but I AM reading and I DOOOO love you! Can't wait to see you!!!

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