(I apologize in advance to the more delicate readers out there (Mom) for the crass language and subject matter of the forthcoming post...
but not unlike poop, sometimes you just have to let the words out.)
Sometimes I find horse manure on the sidewalks because this happens in my neighborhood frequently.
There is a lot of shit in my life at the moment.
I suppose, when I read that back to myself, that I mean it figuratively, but what prompted this post is all of the literal, physical, smelly shit that I find at every turn.
I guess the breaking point for me was when I found actual human feces on my doorstep this weekend....but we'll get back to that.
I just received my visa to work in Israel, so my job these days when I'm not babysitting is finding a job.
As I'm sure many of you can relate to, this is not easy. Anywhere. And babysitting is a hard job, it can be exhausting. I love it, and there are new rewards all the time. But there's also a lot of shit. Ellie is the cutest little baby, but she is quickly become a little girl...and let me tell you, her "cacki" (as its referred to here) is smelling more and more adult by the day. I'm no novice. I've changed countless diapers.
But the god's honest truth of the matter is that cacki smells.
You don't develop a resistance to it, just coping mechanisms.
WHAT is she eating? The smell is unreal. But look at that face.
I also get sick a lot because of my job, and my immune system took a beating this winter. Kids = germ city.
Since September I have contracted countless colds (they just bleed into one another), chest colds, strep throat, and last week...the stomach flu. I'll spare you the details, it will suffice to say I felt pretty shitty.
In any case, after the visa hurdle, and the job hurdle, the next obstacle is my shitty apartment. Literally. I found mouse droppings under the sink the other day. And then people droppings on my way out of the building Friday morning. Oh, and did I mention our place smells like poop sometimes because a pipe outside broke and is leaking raw sewage onto a ledge a few floors below our only windows? Yeah.
When it comes to the mice...whatever. I don't like it. But I've come to accept it as an inevitable reality when you live in a city. And, to be honest, I've killed more cockroaches in the last year than I ever saw in my first 27 years so, I guess at some point you just develop...again, coping mechanisms.
But even the best coping skills are stretched thin when you find human poop on your doorstep.
I love the kids and families I babysit for,
but no one has ever been more motivated than yours truly to find a job.
I just need to clear my life of a little literal shit, so that I can make room for the figurative stuff, cause it's more exciting, and makes for better instagramming...